Oh hello! It’s ya boy T-dawg or as my co-workers affectionately call me, T-boy, here to drop some life advice for my fellow bros. Remember to smash that like button and like, subscribe, oh wtf.
As many of you (does anyone actually read this?) know, I’m a relationship expert and general life advice coach for many inanimate objects, computers, staplers, anything that will listen, with over a quarter of century of life experience here, at your disposal. And today, I’m going to help you with wahmen.
There was a time when I used to think wahmen were celestial beings, angels who didn’t fart, had values, and were generally beyond reproach… Then I discovered pof and tinder.
Wahmen unfortunately, do not have manuals, or how-to guides. And there’s very little out there to help bros prepare for how wahmen operate. My advice has been copiously built off of many studies of wahmen from the likes of pof and tinder, and is 100% effective like 50% of the time. Hopefully, my advice can help you navigate common pitfalls when interacting with the wahmen.
Are all women, wahmen? No, it depends on the time of the month, lawl! But lets start with general advice when dealing with wahmen:
- Trust, but verify: this doesn’t just apply to nuclear disarmament. Don’t blindly trust the wahmen.
- Peace through strength: Don’t let the wahmen see weakness…just don’t.
- When you can’t make them see the light, make them feel the heat: in other words, if you can’t reason with them, take them out for a delicious hot dinner.
- We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone: Wahmen sometimes want a knight to rescue them. Don’t fall for it, its’ a tarp! Let everyone else help them.
- Wahmen is not a solution to our problems, wahmen is the problem.
You may be thinking, “tommy, you just stole those quotes from president Reagan,” and you’d be kind of right. Nevertheless, it’s an appropriate juxtaposition since the wahmen are a cunning opponent bent on controlling all mankind. God help you if you’re behind the iron curtain of marriage…
Me: hi beautiful wahmen. i like ya,
Wahmen: I like you
Me: wanna get dinner at 4:30pm?
Wahmen: how about 5:30pm?
Me: ok sounds great!
Wahmen: gosh, you’re so sweet!
Me: i know!
Wahmen: …but i just want to be friends…
Let’s copy and paste it and run it through my wahmen translator:
Good luck bros! Remember, use protection, drink your milk, and viva la wahmen resistance!